Tag: NBA

Reports: Numerous NFL Teams Expressing Interest in former NBA player Jabari Bird

New Jersey – Despite having no meaningful football experience and no discernible football skill, reports have surfaced that numerous NFL teams have expressed ‘significant interest’ in signing former NBA player, Jabari Bird, after he was waived by the Atlanta Hawks. The former NBA reserve made headlines in 2018 when he was arrested for allegedly strangling… Read More Reports: Numerous NFL Teams Expressing Interest in former NBA player Jabari Bird

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Ante Žižić Pens Tearful Farewell to Celtics Fans in Players Tribune

Boston – Shortly after learning he was traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers as a key piece in the deal that brought Kyrie Irving to Boston, Ante Žižić, known first as a poet and second as a basketball phenom, took to The Players Tribune to thank Celtics fans for an incredible run. “It hurts, man, it really,… Read More Ante Žižić Pens Tearful Farewell to Celtics Fans in Players Tribune

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Hawks to Rest Entire Coaching Staff Tonight in Preparation for Playoffs

Atlanta – Locked into the fifth seed with only tonight’s game remaining in the 2016-2017 regular season, the Atlanta Hawks have decided to rest their entire coaching staff with the playoffs just around the corner. This step marks the latest in the ever-increasing trend of NBA teams using advanced medical data to drive their nightly decisions. “Coach Bud… Read More Hawks to Rest Entire Coaching Staff Tonight in Preparation for Playoffs

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Guy in Pick-Up Game Momentarily Considers Playing Defense, Thinks Better of It

Local YMCA – After a failed offensive possession gave way to a potential fast-break opportunity for the opposing team, wing player and self-designated ‘point-forward’ Alex Delleany briefly thought about hustling back to play defense, but ultimately decided against exerting himself. “They were going to score, like, no matter what. And nobody else really got back, either,”… Read More Guy in Pick-Up Game Momentarily Considers Playing Defense, Thinks Better of It

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Warriors Season Over After Opening Night Loss

Golden State – After suffering a devastating opening night loss to their western conference nemesis, the San Antonio Spurs, the Golden State Warriors’ season is officially, unquestionably over. The grand experiment, adding Kevin Durant to an already-stacked Warriors lineup, has been an unequivocal disaster. “We can’t score, can’t stop anybody, can’t win,” said disgruntled Warriors owner… Read More Warriors Season Over After Opening Night Loss

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Breaking: Steve Javie Released After Months Trapped in ‘Replay Center’

Bristol – An employee at ESPN’s corporate studios found and released former NBA referee, Steve Javie, from a locked closet where he worked during the NBA playoffs as ESPN’s Referee Analyst. Although the NBA finals concluded in June, staff at ESPN studios had apparently forgotten about Javie and he was only discovered after a janitor… Read More Breaking: Steve Javie Released After Months Trapped in ‘Replay Center’

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Duncan Retires After Fist-Fight With Draymond Green

East Lansing – NBA legend Tim Duncan announced his retirement Monday morning following a late-night altercation with Draymond Green. Details are still emerging, but it looks as though Green instigated the altercation by repeatedly insulting Duncan’s attire, specifically his cargo shorts. Contrary to initial reports that Draymond injured Duncan so badly that Duncan had no choice… Read More Duncan Retires After Fist-Fight With Draymond Green

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