New Jersey – Despite having no meaningful football experience and no discernible football skill, reports have surfaced that numerous NFL teams have expressed ‘significant interest’ in signing former NBA player, Jabari Bird, after he was waived by the Atlanta Hawks. The former NBA reserve made headlines in 2018 when he was arrested for allegedly strangling… Read More Reports: Numerous NFL Teams Expressing Interest in former NBA player Jabari Bird
Philadelphia – On Wednesday evening, reports began to circulate that Markelle Fultz had been sighted somewhere outside Philadelphia. The Associated Press was the first to report that two hikers spotted a young man who they believed to be wearing a 76ers jersey and working on his free throw motion. However, the hikers could not confirm… Read More Reports: Markelle Fultz Sighted
Boston – Shortly after learning he was traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers as a key piece in the deal that brought Kyrie Irving to Boston, Ante Žižić, known first as a poet and second as a basketball phenom, took to The Players Tribune to thank Celtics fans for an incredible run. “It hurts, man, it really,… Read More Ante Žižić Pens Tearful Farewell to Celtics Fans in Players Tribune
Atlanta – Locked into the fifth seed with only tonight’s game remaining in the 2016-2017 regular season, the Atlanta Hawks have decided to rest their entire coaching staff with the playoffs just around the corner. This step marks the latest in the ever-increasing trend of NBA teams using advanced medical data to drive their nightly decisions. “Coach Bud… Read More Hawks to Rest Entire Coaching Staff Tonight in Preparation for Playoffs
Sacramento – No, they didn’t. They got hosed.
Local YMCA – After a failed offensive possession gave way to a potential fast-break opportunity for the opposing team, wing player and self-designated ‘point-forward’ Alex Delleany briefly thought about hustling back to play defense, but ultimately decided against exerting himself. “They were going to score, like, no matter what. And nobody else really got back, either,”… Read More Guy in Pick-Up Game Momentarily Considers Playing Defense, Thinks Better of It
Golden State – After suffering a devastating opening night loss to their western conference nemesis, the San Antonio Spurs, the Golden State Warriors’ season is officially, unquestionably over. The grand experiment, adding Kevin Durant to an already-stacked Warriors lineup, has been an unequivocal disaster. “We can’t score, can’t stop anybody, can’t win,” said disgruntled Warriors owner… Read More Warriors Season Over After Opening Night Loss