Curt Schilling Dresses Up As Tolerant, Well-Adjusted Human for Halloween

Rhode Island – In an effort to scare away trick-or-treaters and ensure that only he would enjoy his Halloween candy, Curt Schilling paraded around his front lawn as a socially-conscious, respectable citizen on Monday night. Wearing a casual outfit of corduroy pants and a long-sleeve ‘Save The Rainforest’ tee-shirt lathered with paint stains from a… Read More Curt Schilling Dresses Up As Tolerant, Well-Adjusted Human for Halloween

Tebow Completes Conversion to Judaism with Mets Signing

Flushing, NY – What began with an unsuccessful tenure as a quarterback for the New York Jets has finally come full circle, as Tim Tebow took the final step in his several-year conversion process and signed with the New York Mets organization. Mets team Rabbi, Jeff Rubenstein, called it “a holy day” and welcomed Tebow into the… Read More Tebow Completes Conversion to Judaism with Mets Signing

Kershaw to Have Lower-Back Removed

Los Angeles – Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw will fly to Germany and undergo experimental surgery to have his entire lower back removed, according to Dodgers spokesman Ari Fleshbinger. Kershaw has been experiencing back problems for several weeks now and sees lower-back-removal surgery as the best course of action. “Thanks to advances in modern medicine, Clayton… Read More Kershaw to Have Lower-Back Removed

Man Claims to Understand How College Baseball World Series Works

St. Petersburg – While at a barbecue early Saturday afternoon, Joseph Bujikowski told three of his friends that he “totally understand[s]” how the College World Series actually functions. “There’s like first these regional games where you play mostly people in your region,” waxed Bujikowski as he accidentally over-poured ketchup onto his burger after vigorously shaking the… Read More Man Claims to Understand How College Baseball World Series Works

Fan in Aisle Seat Appalled That Others Must Occasionally Get Up And Exit Row

Kansas City – Mildly-enthusiastic fan Gabe Appleton grew deeply annoyed during Tuesday night’s Kansas City Royals game when he was politely asked by three separate fans over the course of two innings to scrunch aside so they could exit the row to use the bathroom. “Just watch the damn game,” Appleton muttered to himself as a 10-year-old fan who… Read More Fan in Aisle Seat Appalled That Others Must Occasionally Get Up And Exit Row

Local Fan Insists $9 Ballpark Pizza “Actually Pretty Good”

Atlanta – Aaron Jefferstein was originally flabbergasted that a slice of pizza could cost $9, though he went on to tell his friends that it was “actually pretty good.” Enjoying the Braves game from section 319, Aaron  continued to rave about the pizza as his friends looked at their phones and nodded in agreement. “I mean, it’s… Read More Local Fan Insists $9 Ballpark Pizza “Actually Pretty Good”