Curt Schilling Dresses Up As Tolerant, Well-Adjusted Human for Halloween

curtschilling-1440536589.jpgRhode Island – In an effort to scare away trick-or-treaters and ensure that only he would enjoy his Halloween candy, Curt Schilling paraded around his front lawn as a socially-conscious, respectable citizen on Monday night. Wearing a casual outfit of corduroy pants and a long-sleeve ‘Save The Rainforest’ tee-shirt lathered with paint stains from a recent Habitat for Humanity volunteer outing, Schilling handed out leaflets on climate change and kindly spoke to arriving children about the injustices facing minorities in contemporary American society. Of course, Schilling was cautious to avoid lecturing and to focus primarily on listening to all who appeared at his door. Local parents said that after brief discussions on topics such as the need to reduce income inequality and provide better mental health care for the poor, Schilling would then whip out a bloody sock and send children running away, thus preserving the Halloween candy for himself.

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