Brady Skips White House Visit for a “Family Matters” TV Marathon

New England – Tom Brady shocked many supporters when he announced that he planned to skip the New England Patriots victory trip to the White House on Wednesday, albeit not for political reasons. While many of his teammates refused to participate due to their aversion to the anthropomorphized fake-Rolex that now occupies the White House,… Read More Brady Skips White House Visit for a “Family Matters” TV Marathon

Mike Ditka Mistakenly Buys Flight to Seattle, Washington, to Attend Presidential Inauguration

Chicago – Not realizing that Washington D.C. is not the same thing as the state of Washington, a very confused Mike Ditka called American Airlines in a panic late Sunday evening and attempted to rebook his flight from Chicago to attend the Presidential Inauguration. Friends of the former Chicago Bears coach came to his defense, noting… Read More Mike Ditka Mistakenly Buys Flight to Seattle, Washington, to Attend Presidential Inauguration

Trump to Name Roger Goodell as Director of Health & Human Services

Washington D.C. – President-elect Donald Trump turned heads on Monday when he issued a statement affirming that he plans to ask the current NFL Commissioner to head up the Department of Health & Human Services. Rumors began circulating days earlier that Trump was first interested in hiring Roger Goodell to head up the Occupational Safety & Healthy Administration… Read More Trump to Name Roger Goodell as Director of Health & Human Services

Michigan to Wear Khaki Alternates for Homecoming Game

Ann Arbor – Inspired by the fashion choices of their head coach, Jim Harbaugh, the Wolverines will wear alternate uniforms featuring khaki bottoms during their homecoming game against rival Ohio State. The uniforms will likely be pleated and each individual player will decide on whether or not to cuff the bottom of the pants. NCAA uniform… Read More Michigan to Wear Khaki Alternates for Homecoming Game

NFL Players Under Fire for Sitting ‘Indian-Style’ During National Anthem

Washington – Several prominent players from teams across the NFL are under fire from the league office after sitting ‘Indian-Style’ during the national anthem to protest the overt and systemic discrimination against people of color in the United States. NFL spokesman Greg McWhiterson was asked about the gesture during a press conference on Monday. “While… Read More NFL Players Under Fire for Sitting ‘Indian-Style’ During National Anthem