Category: Basketball

Routine Maintenance to ESPN Trade Machine Website Shuts Down Kings’ Deadline Deals

Sacramento – Last ditch efforts by the King’s front office to make a trade before Thursday’s deadline were derailed late Wednesday night when Kings General Manager, Vlade Divac, was unable to access ESPN’s NBA Trade Machine website due to scheduled monthly maintenance. Sources close to the Kings reported that Divac had been furiously trying to… Read More Routine Maintenance to ESPN Trade Machine Website Shuts Down Kings’ Deadline Deals

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Local NBA Fan Thrilled That Arena Constantly Plays Music During Gameplay

Washington D.C. – Upon exiting the Verizon Center arena following a game in which the Wizards lost 117-113 to the Denver Nuggets, Wizards fan Dave Cartwright expressed his profound love for the constant stream of rap instrumentals played during the game. “I used to go to games and get stuck focusing on basketball. Now, I get a constant… Read More Local NBA Fan Thrilled That Arena Constantly Plays Music During Gameplay

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Skip Bayless: The Warriors Are ‘Overrated’

BRISTOL – After the Warriors’ first loss dropped the team to 24-1, Skip Bayless felt vindicated. “The Warriors are awful, they are completely overrated,” griped Skip Balyess, the TV analyst well known for his reasonable, highly-rational perspective. “The Warriors are not even a top 20 team – this loss proves my point,” added Bayless, who… Read More Skip Bayless: The Warriors Are ‘Overrated’

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Jahlil Okafor Suspended Four Games for War Crimes; Ponzi Scheme

PHILADELPHIA – The Philadelphia 76ers have suspended standout rookie, Jahlil Okafor, for four games, following a rare joint-indictment by Interpol and U.S. Department of Justice for his role in numerous war crimes and the orchestration of a massive Ponzi scheme. After years of meticulous investigation, Interpol and the DOJ issued a damning statement arguing that Okafor has single-handedly been… Read More Jahlil Okafor Suspended Four Games for War Crimes; Ponzi Scheme

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Ming and McGrady Leading Early NBA All-Star Voting

NEW YORK CITY -NBA greats Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady lead all vote-getters after NBA fans have cast the first batch of ballots for the 2016 NBA All-Star Game, narrowly outpacing Kobe Bryant, Steph Curry, and Lebron James. While neither Ming nor McGrady have played professional basketball in years, a strange clause in the collective bargaining agreement assures… Read More Ming and McGrady Leading Early NBA All-Star Voting

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Jeremy ‘Linfuriated’ Over Lack of Catchy Porzingas Nickname

CHARLOTTE – In a rare display of frustration, Hornets point guard Jeremy Lin expressed his outrage over the lack of an obvious and catchy nickname for New York Knicks rookie Kristaps Porzingas. “As a fan of the game, I find it absolutely appalling that we could be a full 15 games into the season and ‘The… Read More Jeremy ‘Linfuriated’ Over Lack of Catchy Porzingas Nickname

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