Washington D.C. – Upon exiting the Verizon Center arena following a game in which the Wizards lost 117-113 to the Denver Nuggets, Wizards fan Dave Cartwright expressed his profound love for the constant stream of rap instrumentals played during the game.

“I used to go to games and get stuck focusing on basketball. Now, I get a constant stream of opportunities to play ‘Name That Tune’ with my favorite hip-hop instrumentals, it’s the best,” beamed Dave. “For example, there was a moment in tonight’s game when John Wall grabbed a rebound and pushed the ball up the court. I was going to begin cheering wildly, when suddenly, I heard a familiar song and turned to my friend, Eric, and quietly said: ‘Hey, is that a Nelly song? I think that’s a Nelly song’.”

While NBA rules prohibit home teams from playing such songs while the visiting team possesses the ball, they are permitted to play vocal-free instrumentals while the home team controls the play. “It’s so nice being able to know that I can spend the entire game checking my phone, meandering around the concourse, and trying to get on the Jumbotron knowing that there is virtually no chance the fans will build any organic, compelling excitement that will be worth partaking in – all thanks to the incessant stream of distracting, energy-killing instrumentals played during every single Wizards possession which, ironically enough, are intended to keep fans engaged,” Dave argued.

Dave also believes that the constant blaring of useless background music added a tremendous entertainment value to the experience because he could barely see the game anyway from his $30 seat in the upper corner of the arena.