Report: NFL Finds Brady & Belichick Responsible for Manning’s Collegiate Transgressions

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New York – After reports re-surfaced regarding an alleged sexual assault committed by Peyton Manning while at the University of Tennessee, a separate investigation conducted by the NFL found that Tom Brady and Patriots’ coach, Bill Belichik, were entirely responsible for the incident in question.

“Our investigation has unequivocally found that Tom Brady and coach Belichick traveled through time and committed the assault in question,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, in a statement to the press on Tuesday. “We found no evidence to suggest that Manning was involved, or even present, at the time of the alleged incident.”

The NFL has suspended Tom Brady and Bill Belichick for 25 games each. Sources say that the stiff suspension may also be linked to new findings from a separate investigation into Brady and Belichick’s involvement with the Kennedy Assassination.

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