Houston – Following ESPN’s decision to remove commentator Robert Lee from the sidelines of a UVA football game and FOX’s decision to remove cameraman Benedict Arnold from an upcoming Patriots showdown, the Mets have decided to bench ace Matt Harvey against the Houston Astros. “It just felt wrong,” said Mets skipper, Terry Collins, “to have… Read More Mets Bench Harvey Against Houston
New England – Facing public pressure following ESPN’s decision to remove commentator Robert Lee from a UVA football game telecast, FOX has decided to pull long-time camera operator, Benedict Arnold, from the upcoming Patriots pre-season game against the rival Giants. Benedict, who typically goes by “Ben”, declined to comment on the controversial decision after it… Read More Fox Pulls Camera Operator Benedict Arnold from Upcoming Patriots Broadcast
New England – Tom Brady shocked many supporters when he announced that he planned to skip the New England Patriots victory trip to the White House on Wednesday, albeit not for political reasons. While many of his teammates refused to participate due to their aversion to the anthropomorphized fake-Rolex that now occupies the White House,… Read More Brady Skips White House Visit for a “Family Matters” TV Marathon
New England – Former Patriots wide receiver, Wes Welker, announced on Twitter that he will join many of his “teammates” and skip the celebratory trip to the White House that the Patriots will make later this year. Welker’s announcement caused a media firestorm, largely because Welker has not played for the Patriots since the 2012… Read More Welker Announces He Will Skip Patriots White House Visit
New York – After reports re-surfaced regarding an alleged sexual assault committed by Peyton Manning while at the University of Tennessee, a separate investigation conducted by the NFL found that Tom Brady and Patriots’ coach, Bill Belichik, were entirely responsible for the incident in question. “Our investigation has unequivocally found that Tom Brady and coach Belichick traveled… Read More Report: NFL Finds Brady & Belichick Responsible for Manning’s Collegiate Transgressions
St. Louis City Hospital – Heading into Sunday’s AFC Championship Game, wide receiver Wes Welker anticipates that he will clear the concussion protocols and be eligible to play. “I feel great,” cooed Welker, “I feel alert, focused, energized, and alert… and focused.” Known for his toughness and desire, Welker made headlines earlier this year expressing his excitement… Read More Welker Believes He Will Pass Concussion Test; Play Sunday
The Hyperbolic Chamber 