Philadelphia – According to a source inside the Phildadelphia 76ers font office, the horrific decisions which have defined the franchise for the past few seasons were all part of an elaborate plot to alienate fans and drop attendance so low that the team could relocate to Las Vegas. The source revealed that several years ago, the ownership group had gathered for their monthly sleepover party where they watched the movie Major League. The 76ers leadership group was apparently “inspired” by the plot line and instructed the front office staff to begin tanking immediately, using the guise of ‘rebuilding through the draft lottery’ as a smokescreen for their true intentions. At press time, sources confirmed that the ownership group had since watched Major League 2 but had passed on Major League: Back to the Minors, due to its poor online reviews.