Lochte Disqualified for Peeing in Pool

lochteRio de Janeiro – Extensive DNA testing of the Olympic pool water has confirmed what many feared would happen: Ryan Lochte has peed in the pool. Officials grew suspicious after Lochte hung onto the lane line for an unusual amount of time following the 200M Individual Medley. “It looked like [Lochte] was just trying to read the scoreboard and decipher the results of the race, which does typically take him longer than most athletes,” said Andrea Perloni, spokeswoman for the International Olympic Committee, “but after he did not move for nearly a minute, we became suspicious.” Officials said that upcoming events may be delayed while the pool is closed for cleaning. Some suspect that a similar accident was responsible for Lochte’s current hair color.

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