Olympic Sailor Grows Advantageous Third Arm After Practicing in Rio Waters

sailing.jpgRio De Janeiro – While many athletes are complaining about the heavily polluted waters leading up to the 2016 Olympic Games in Brazil, Hans Bergenbeim has decided to use the situation to his advantage, opting to keep the third arm he recently grew after a few practice sessions at the Rio venue.

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, I always say,” preached Hans to a crowd of reporters outside Mt. Sanai General Hospital de Rio. “In this case, life gave me a strange, mutant appendage, and I’m going to use it to help pilot this boat to gold.”

The International Olympic Committee ruled that because the new arm was acquired unintentionally, Hans would be permitted to compete. However, should he be awarded a spot on the German National Sailing Team he would be ineligible for the Paralympic squad.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s