Golden State – After suffering a devastating opening night loss to their western conference nemesis, the San Antonio Spurs, the Golden State Warriors’ season is officially, unquestionably over. The grand experiment, adding Kevin Durant to an already-stacked Warriors lineup, has been an unequivocal disaster. “We can’t score, can’t stop anybody, can’t win,” said disgruntled Warriors owner… Read More Warriors Season Over After Opening Night Loss
Golden State – After several years of displaying the product with the hopes of winning an endorsement, Steph Curry has finally signed a lucrative contract with Invisalign®. As part of their negotiated deal, the company has asked Steph to refrain from putting their product behind his ear, wedged into his jersey, chewing on it, and holding it… Read More Curry Finally Inks Invisalign® Endorsement
Golden State – Superstar Warriors guard Stephen Curry announced that he currently plans to retire at some point during the next 5-20 years of his career, prompting the beginning of an unprecedented 410-1640 game retirement tour around the NBA. Alluding to the fanfare given to Kobe Bryant during his final NBA season, the Warriors expect… Read More Curry Announces He’ll Retire in 5-20 Years, Begins Farewell Tour
San Francisco – The Golden State Warriors organization and Coach Steve Kerr have each been fined $500k after a formal investigation by the NBA league office revealed that the Warriors input cheat codes that have effectively ‘broken’ the game of basketball and enabled star guard Stephen Curry to bend the laws of physics and probability. After… Read More Report: NBA Fines Warriors, Kerr for Using Cheat Codes
The Hyperbolic Chamber 