Obama Under Fire After Oversight Committee Finds Guantanamo Bay Prisoners Forced to Watch ‘Undisputed’

Washington D.C. – President Obama refused to comment on a recently-published report from the House Committee on Homeland Security that revealed Guantanamo Bay prisoners have been forced to watch episodes of FS1’s sports talk show ‘Undisputed’. The 231 page report details a pattern of widespread abuse in which prisoners were sat in reasonably-comfortable chairs for periods of… Read More Obama Under Fire After Oversight Committee Finds Guantanamo Bay Prisoners Forced to Watch ‘Undisputed’

Reports: Trump ‘Big Fan’ of Skip Bayless

Washington DC – People are saying that Donald Trump is a ‘big fan’ of TV pundit Skip Bayless. “Skip Bayless, great guy, the best guy, really. He’s terrific and his reputation is impeccable,” belched Donald to reporters on the eve of the Presidential election when he was asked about what sports television he preferred. “Great points,… Read More Reports: Trump ‘Big Fan’ of Skip Bayless

Breaking: Steve Javie Released After Months Trapped in ‘Replay Center’

Bristol – An employee at ESPN’s corporate studios found and released former NBA referee, Steve Javie, from a locked closet where he worked during the NBA playoffs as ESPN’s Referee Analyst. Although the NBA finals concluded in June, staff at ESPN studios had apparently forgotten about Javie and he was only discovered after a janitor… Read More Breaking: Steve Javie Released After Months Trapped in ‘Replay Center’

Lebron To Announce Free Agency Decision on ESPN Special

South Beach- After declining a player-option on his current contract with the Cleveland Cavaliers, Lebron James will announce his free agency destination in a one-hour televised special on ESPN. “I just want to be able to connect with my fans and share my plans for the future with them,” said Lebron, in an interview on… Read More Lebron To Announce Free Agency Decision on ESPN Special

Report: Knicks Consider Hiring Reggie Miller Just To Get Him Off Television

New York – Despite being one of the most loathed opponents in the storied history of the New York Knickerbockers basketball franchise, sources close to the Knicks’ front office have confirmed that the Knicks have considered offering the head coaching job to Reggie Miller simply to get him off the air during nationally televised NBA games.… Read More Report: Knicks Consider Hiring Reggie Miller Just To Get Him Off Television

Existence of Benevolent God Confirmed as Skip Bayless Announces ESPN Departure

Bristol – On the heels of Skip Bayless’ announcement that he will be leaving ESPN this summer, a panel of distinguished philosophers have finally been able to confirm the existence of a benevolent, omnipotent deity. “While countless ontological proofs for the existence of a supreme being have fallen short, Skip’s unexpected departure from popular television programming has finally… Read More Existence of Benevolent God Confirmed as Skip Bayless Announces ESPN Departure

Skip Bayless: The Warriors Are ‘Overrated’

BRISTOL – After the Warriors’ first loss dropped the team to 24-1, Skip Bayless felt vindicated. “The Warriors are awful, they are completely overrated,” griped Skip Balyess, the TV analyst well known for his reasonable, highly-rational perspective. “The Warriors are not even a top 20 team – this loss proves my point,” added Bayless, who… Read More Skip Bayless: The Warriors Are ‘Overrated’