Somewhere in Louisiana – Officials at Louisiana Tech University are reportedly “baffled” that their decision to hire a 23-year-old head coach of the women’s basketball team has apparently “not worked out too well,” as one administrator put it. Coach Tyler Summitt, now 25, resigned Friday over reports that he had an extramarital affair and impregnated one of his own players. “Sure, he was 23 and had no relevant experience or credentials, but his mom is Pat Summitt. Pat Summitt! That’s a can’t-miss hire,” said a university official who wished to remain anonymous. “Tyler said he wanted to build a ‘family atmosphere’ within the basketball program here… obviously, we didn’t think he meant it so literally.” At press time, it is unclear whether or not the student athlete will be sanctioned by the NCAA for ‘receiving impermissible benefits.’