WISCONSIN – Confirming what was once considered an amusing urban legend, geneticists at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse proved the existence of Resting Bitch Face, or RBF, with Bears quarterback Jay Cutler providing a critical study input. While the study incorporated a diverse sample of over 80,000 subjects, it was Jay Cutler that provided the majority of evidence cited by the research team in an article that premiered in the January 2016 edition of the prestigious journal Nature.
“Jay is our Lucy,” said Dr. Simon McPhee, referencing the famous 1974 discovery of the Australopithecus afarensis skeleton that set the scientific world ablaze. “Our preliminary findings were leading us in that direction but it was just looking at Jay Cutler’s face confirmed our initial hypothesis,” added McPhee.
Researchers noted that while RBF typically results in a false-veneer whereby the afflicted individual is generally far from as obnoxious as their face might indicate to a casual observer, Cutler proved a curious exception. “Our evidence suggests that Jay not only carries the RBF genotype, but is one of the rare carriers who is just as arrogant and unapologetically apathetic as his face would suggest.”