Mets Bench Harvey Against Houston

Houston – Following ESPN’s decision to remove commentator Robert Lee from the sidelines of a UVA football game and FOX’s decision to remove cameraman Benedict Arnold from an upcoming Patriots showdown, the Mets have decided to bench ace Matt Harvey against the Houston Astros. “It just felt wrong,” said Mets skipper, Terry Collins, “to have… Read More Mets Bench Harvey Against Houston

Fox Pulls Camera Operator Benedict Arnold from Upcoming Patriots Broadcast

New England – Facing public pressure following ESPN’s decision to remove commentator Robert Lee from a UVA football game telecast, FOX has decided to pull long-time camera operator, Benedict Arnold, from the upcoming Patriots pre-season game against the rival Giants. Benedict, who typically goes by “Ben”, declined to comment on the controversial decision after it… Read More Fox Pulls Camera Operator Benedict Arnold from Upcoming Patriots Broadcast

Existence of Benevolent God Confirmed as Skip Bayless Announces ESPN Departure

Bristol – On the heels of Skip Bayless’ announcement that he will be leaving ESPN this summer, a panel of distinguished philosophers have finally been able to confirm the existence of a benevolent, omnipotent deity. “While countless ontological proofs for the existence of a supreme being have fallen short, Skip’s unexpected departure from popular television programming has finally… Read More Existence of Benevolent God Confirmed as Skip Bayless Announces ESPN Departure