Breaking: Sepp Blatter Attended Controversial Meeting at Trump Tower

New York, New York – Multiple sources have confirmed that former FIFA President, Sepp Blatter, was in attendance for the infamous campaign meeting with nefarious characters that took place at Trump Tower on June 9th, 2016. “It is not possible to say whether or not I was at the meeting,” Blatter claimed, despite the revelations… Read More Breaking: Sepp Blatter Attended Controversial Meeting at Trump Tower

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FIFA Arrests Derail Valiant Attempt at Hotel Status

ZURICH – CONCACAF President Alfredo Hawit’s year-long effort to finally accumulate enough qualifying hotel nights to earn Platinum Elite Status came to an end Wednesday evening, when he was arrested at the Baur au Lac hotel just hours before what would have been his much-needed fiftieth night of 2015. “One day, just one more fucking day,” muttered Hawit,… Read More FIFA Arrests Derail Valiant Attempt at Hotel Status